Do you have jobs in your marriage that are his/hers? Our neighbors have an agreement with the outside work: she mows, he landscapes. No questions. He does NOT mow. Every marriage has those dividing lines with cooking and cleaning, bathing kids and bedtime prayers, and who drives to family events. Sometimes the dividing lines are traditional gender roles, sometimes not.
I’m learning, however, that there are more nitty gritty roles that get divided in a marriage that are more based on temperament and personality. For example, I don’t take off wallpaper. I had the stroke of genius to do it in our last place and got so far before I didn’t care anymore. Henry had the patience and focus on detail to finish the job. I am very much visionary, big picture. He’s much more the execute the details guy. But if it becomes something about words, I’m not the visionary, I’m detailed and he’s big picture. If something needs to be cleaned, I’ll do the detailed work, and he’ll hose it off.
As I’m typing this, I’m looking over in the distance at a mound of socks, once sorted by a 7yo and then dumped out by a toddler. Then re-sorted (in the most illogical-to-my-brain system) by the 9yo. Nobody has socks matched. I should do that job. I don’t want to. It’s detailed.
I’m going to have to turn on a movie and do it absent-mindedly.
But not today.
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